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Embracing Discomfort

With practice, entering the danger becomes less daunting and more of a valuable tool for growth and problem-solving. Dedicate the sessions as the time and space for airing problems, but when not in session commit to getting on with things without complaint.

You can't make progress if you lack the courage to face the truth.

Schedule​

Dedicate time and mind to address uncomfortable truths while evolving rituals to enter these situations with courage, empathy and a genuine desire to make meaningful progress rather than assigning blame.

Prepare​

Prepare mentally. Remind yourself that addressing the uncomfortable issue serves the team, even if it feels risky in the moment.

Vulnerability​

Be willing to be vulnerable. Share your own challenges or mistakes to create psychological safety for others.

Respectful Honesty​

Be direct but respectful. Bring up the sensitive topic clearly and directly, but in a calm and non-judgmental tone.

Clear Purpose​

Have a clear purpose. Know why addressing this issue is important and be able to articulate that if needed.

Open Questions​

Ask open-ended questions. Use questions to invite discussion rather than making statements. For example, "What are people's thoughts on what just happened?"

Listen​

Listen actively. Once you've opened up the difficult topic, focus on listening to understand different perspectives.

Perspective​

Use "I" statements. Frame observations in terms of your own perspective rather than making accusations. For example, "I noticed there was tension after that comment" rather than "You upset everyone with what you said."

Acknowledge the Pain​

Acknowledge the discomfort. It can help to name that this is a difficult conversation. For example, "I know this is an uncomfortable topic, but I think it's important we discuss it."

Focus Attention​

Focus on the issue, not the person. Keep the conversation centred on behaviors and impacts rather than attacking someone's character.

Common Ground​

  1. Look for common ground. Try to identify shared goals or values that can serve as a foundation for addressing the issue.

Plan For Breaks​

  1. Be prepared to pause. If emotions get too heated, be willing to take a break and revisit the conversation later.

Follow Up​

  1. Follow up. After a difficult conversation, check in with people individually to see how they're processing it.

Context​

  • Courage — The trait this practice develops
  • Meetings — Where discomfort surfaces most
  • Progress — What honest conversations produce
  • Truth — What you're entering the danger to find

Questions​

What conversation are you avoiding right now — and what is the cost of that avoidance?

  • When you "enter the danger," does it get easier with practice or just less surprising?
  • What is the difference between discomfort that signals growth and discomfort that signals the wrong approach?