Play
The quality of the game depends on the spirit in which it is played. In a great game the ball flows openly.
The Drivers
The brain treats social needs like survival needs.
| Drive | Question | System |
|---|---|---|
| Status | Can you earn respect? | Belief (Purpose) |
| Certainty | Can you read the rules? | Control (Attention) |
| Autonomy | Can you choose your path? | Control (Direction) |
| Relatedness | Can you belong? | Value (Belonging) |
| Fairness | Are the rules equal? | Value (Virtues) |
See Social Drivers for the framework.
Navigation System
Pattern Recognition => Pattern Adaptation => Pattern Evolution.
Where are you in the game? Acting with agency or being acted upon?
The best decision is to choose to be lucky.
The Journey
The better your company, the better the journey.
| Phase | Name | Experience | Question |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Call | Awareness of need | What's calling me to change? |
| 2 | Threshold | Crossing into unknown | What must I leave behind? |
| 3 | Trials | Tests, allies, enemies | Who helps? Who blocks? |
| 4 | Abyss | Darkest moment | What must die for me to grow? |
| 5 | Transformation | Death and rebirth | Who am I becoming? |
| 6 | Return | Coming back changed | What do I bring back? |
| 7 | Mastery | Integration, teaching | How do I pass this on? |
Key Decisions
| Act | Stage | Age | Core Challenge | Key Decisions |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Child | 0-12 | Foundation | How to learn, who to trust |
| 2 | Student | 12-22 | Identity | What to study, who to become |
| 3 | Worker | 22-35 | Independence | Career path, how to earn |
| 4 | Partner | 25-45 | Connection | Who to commit to, how to love |
| 5 | Parent | 30-55 | Leadership | How to raise, what to pass on |
| 6 | Elder | 55-75 | Wisdom | How to mentor, what matters |
| 7 | Legacy | 75+ | Integration | How to let go, what remains |
Bridging Trust: The Best Coach reflects empathy with the challenge.
| Position | Where in Journey | The Work |
|---|---|---|
| Bridge Trust | Threshold → Trials | Help them cross. The unknown feels less terrifying with company. |
| High Agency | Transformation → Return | Help them integrate. What they learned becomes who they are. |
The Roles
All the world is a stage. To do well, you must develop the range to play many parts.
| Act Role | Call | Threshold | Trials | Abyss | Transform | Return | Mastery |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Child | Wonder | First school | Learning basics | First failure | Finding strengths | Confidence | Ready for more |
| Student | Passion spark | Leaving home | Exams, peers | Identity crisis | Finding path | Graduation | Skill foundation |
| Worker | Career calling | First job | Competition | Burnout/firing | Pivot/reinvent | New role | Domain expertise |
| Partner | Attraction | Commitment | Conflict | Betrayal/loss | Forgiveness | Renewed bond | Deep partnership |
| Parent | New life | Responsibility | Sleepless years | Teen rebellion | Letting go | Empty nest | Family wisdom |
| Elder | Legacy calling | Stepping back | Health, relevance | Mortality | Acceptance | Giving back | Sage |
| Legacy | Final chapter | Surrendering control | Decline | Facing death | Peace | Saying goodbye | What remains |
The Story
Key decisions at each life stage. Click through for guidance.
Act 1: Child (Foundation)
- How do I learn effectively?
- Who can I trust?
- What am I naturally drawn to?
Act 2: Student (Identity)
- What should I study? — or build instead?
- Who do I want to become?
- How do I think independently?
- How do I develop agency? — the 2026 curriculum shift
Act 3: Worker (Independence)
- How do I earn a living?
- What career path fits me?
- How do I build valuable skills?
- Should I start a business?
Act 4: Partner (Connection)
- How do I choose a life partner?
- How do I build trust?
- How do I navigate conflict?
- How do I manage money together?
Act 5: Parent (Leadership)
- How do I raise children well?
- How do I lead a community?
- How do I balance work and family?
- What values do I pass on?
Act 6: Elder (Wisdom)
- How do I mentor effectively?
- How do I stay relevant?
- How do I manage health?
- What is my legacy?
Act 7: Legacy (Integration)
- How do I let go gracefully?
- How do I face mortality?
- What remains when I'm gone?
- How do I make peace?
The Eternal Loop
Every act follows the same pattern:
PURPOSE (clarity of intention)
↓
PRIORITIZE (balanced decisions)
↓
IMPACT (focused attention)
↓
MEASURE (learn from outcomes)
↓
REFLECT (ask better questions)
See Thought Audit to check your operating state.
Play with Purpose
Flow happens when Intention and Attention are in balance.
Play is the point. The others are the loop.
SCIENCE (theory to chase)
↓
AGENCY ← PLAY → STANDARDS (practice to follow)
(evolve) ↑ ↓
SCOREBOARD ← SYSTEMS
(measure) (scale)
| The Loop | Function | Serves Play By... |
|---|---|---|
| Science | Theory to chase | Revealing what might be true |
| Standards | Practice to follow | Making progress repeatable |
| Systems | Combine to scale | Compounding without friction |
| Scoreboard | Measure what matters | Focusing on what you control |
| Agency | Evolve, enlighten | Becoming lighter through mastery |
Win the collisions. You can't control the scoreboard — only your standards. Focus on the micro-moments. Win each collision. The big score takes care of itself.
Enlightenment = to feel lighter. The loop removes friction until you flow. Agency isn't accumulating more — it's carrying less.
The Enemy Within
Fear at Each Threshold: What blocks progress at each stage:
| Stage | Common Fear | The Lie | The Truth |
|---|---|---|---|
| Child → Student | "I'm not smart enough" | Identity is fixed | Growth is always possible |
| Student → Worker | "I'll pick wrong" | One path determines all | You can pivot |
| Worker → Partner | "I'll lose freedom" | Love is constraint | Love is expansion |
| Partner → Parent | "I'll fail them" | Perfect parents exist | Good enough is enough |
| Parent → Elder | "I'm becoming irrelevant" | Youth = value | Wisdom compounds |
| Elder → Legacy | "It was all meaningless" | Impact requires fame | Ripples outlast waves |
The Master
The best way to realize your potential is to help someone else realize theirs.
| Act | Physical | Mental | Social | Spiritual |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Child | Motor skills | Language, basics | Family bonds | Wonder |
| Student | Health habits | Learning to learn | Friendship | Identity |
| Worker | Energy management | Domain expertise | Network | Purpose |
| Partner | Intimacy | Emotional intelligence | Deep trust | Commitment |
| Parent | Endurance | Patience | Leadership | Sacrifice |
| Elder | Longevity | Perspective | Mentorship | Acceptance |
| Legacy | Letting go | Peace | Gratitude | Transcendence |
Context
- The Fractal - Same pattern, every scale
- Flow State - Peak performance
- VVFL Loop - The feedback loop that compounds
- Archetypes - The parts you play
- Thought Audit - Check your operating state
- Time and Energy - Your finite resources
- Education Transformation - The game as curriculum