Belonging
Everyone has a deep need to feel they matter and belong.
This is our sense of connection to and safety with others. The brain treats social exclusion like physical pain — isolation triggers the same neural circuits as a broken bone.
Threat & Reward
| Response | Trigger | Outcome |
|---|---|---|
| Threat | Feeling isolated, excluded, or invisible | Decreased cooperation, defensive behavior |
| Reward | Inclusion, recognition, shared identity | Enhanced collaboration, loyalty, creativity |
Foundations
Belonging maps to deeper human needs:
| Framework | Element | Connection |
|---|---|---|
| Human Needs | Connection | Others who matter — the fundamental need |
| Te Whare Tapa Whā | Taha whānau | Family, relationships, social support |
| Behavioral Biases | Social proof, In-group bias | The shortcuts we use to find our tribe |
The Leverage
Products and teams that serve belonging:
- Make people visible — recognition costs nothing, delivers status + belonging
- Create shared identity — "people like us do things like this"
- Build rituals — repeated shared experiences compound connection
- Enable contribution — belonging deepens when people give, not just receive
Context
- Foundations — Where belonging sits in human needs
- Players — Coordination with others who matter
- Third Space — Where belonging happens physically
- Human Biases — The bias that drives tribal behavior
- Principles — Create connections to win long-term